Our friend Ros drove us through to Edinburgh to hand in the money from the collection at the funeral. We decided to gift this to the Simpsons Neonatal Unit at the hospital because we will always have special memories of Alexis there. She and her sister spent the first two weeks of life there and it is due to the great skill of the nurses and medical staff there that they both pulled through without any major problems despite their early delivery. Alexis weighed only 2 lb 12 and her sister Christina was 2 lb 2 when they were born. To the nurses in the Simpsons unit and to those in Ninewells in Dundee, we cannot thank you enough. It was hard going back but we saw some familiar faces who made it easier (thank you Cathy and Maggie and the other girls) and we got to spend some time in one of the rooms where Alexis was. We sat in the space behind the empty incubator and held hands, I remembered how small and perfect she seemed when she arrived. Her eyes hadn't even opened at that point because the eyelids were fused shut, and her skin was covered with a dark down. When she was born she let out a yowl but most of the time after when she was in the incubator she just lay silently steaming in the heat and moisture as if soaking up the sun. I remembered how much we had been through every day worrying and hoping with all our might that she and her sister would gain in strength- I also remembered the happiness we had there and some silly times, like when my mum and dad came to visit our suite. It was late July and my dad turned up what he thought was the air conditioning to full in our room. Alan and I were so preoccupied with the girls that we didn't discover it was actually the heating for a week, but wondered why the sweat was pouring off us in sheets every night! We had forgotten about all these things but remembering them now made us realise how far we had come. It seems so unfair that meningitis has robbed us of our beautiful daughter overnight, but after looking at the Remembrance Book in the Unit I understand that we are not the only parents in this position. Some parents only have a week or a day with their children.The most important thing now is that we continue to be strong together and make sure that we honour Alexis' memory by supporting other families and survivors.